Becoming who He would have me be.

At the beginning of 2014, John told me that we should have another child. I did not feel ready at all for another. Looking back, it wasn't because I was overwhelmed with those we had - it was because I was comfortable. I wasn't sure that  wanted to have a toddler and a baby again. I didn't want to go through another pregnancy/birth. I didn't want to be sleep deprived. I had no good reason for not wanting another, I just didn't. Thankfully, the Lord is willing to be patient and helped soften my heart. I decided I needed to at least be open to the idea and find out if Heavenly Father wanted us to have another. As I was thinking/praying about this one day I had the very distinct thought that our faith is strengthened the most when we are willing to step forward without a clear path or clear direction. I knew that this was Heavenly Father letting me know that He was asking us to welcome another child into our family.

I am beginning to see that Heavenly Father knows us so much better than we know ourselves. He sees our full potential and asks us to do things that we would never do on our own. When I was younger being a mother of a large family was the last thing I wanted to do. I remember telling my own mother that I wanted to marry "Mister Mom". I wanted to marry someone who was willing to stay home so I could have a career. How grateful I am that life did not turn out as I thought I wanted it to. I am grateful that Heavenly Father is helping me to become a much better person than I thought I could be. I am grateful for the lessons I have the privilege of learning from my children every day. For it is through them that I grow closer to my Heavenly Father and become the person he would have me to be.